Optimized Like Jordan
by Virtual Dragon of Oban
Summary: What happens when Virtual Dragon of Oban takes the heater in the beginning of Optimized like Ondai break? And what happens when she makes it a TWOSHOT! Read and find out! t for safety. UPDATED VERSION
1. Chapter 1

**Update: I barely had to do anything with this one, really.**

K, here's the other fic I promised. This one's longer. Again, It's the Optimized Like Ondai ep, only "slightly" tweaked.

---

Don Wei woke up to find snowflakes swirling around his room. He gasped, the freezing cold hit him like a cement truck. "Must…get…jacket…"

He walked out to find Stan and Koji running over towards the main hangar.

"We're going to cover the Arrow, It can't take this temperature drop!" Stan called over to him.

"C-can I h-help w-with s-s-something?" Eva came out of the sleeping quarters she shared with Jordan, the sleepy gunner following close behind and rubbing his eyes.

"Not really. There's heaters in the storage area!" Koji pointed towards a large room. Eva nodded.

---

"Jordan, hurry up-I can't feel my fingers!"

Eva and Jordan had taken their blankets and donned them like a cloak. Eva was sitting on Jordan's cot.

"I'm trying! Stupid thing." Jordan whacked the offending object. "You'd think that by the 21st century-" He broke off as the old heater flared to life.

"Aww man, I can't believe it's so cold!" Eva leaned forward, warming her frozen fingers.

"Here…climb in." Jordan held out his arm.

"Ewww…" Eva cringed and scooted away from Jordan.

"Umm…Well, you know what they say, one Eskimo under a blanket freezes to death, two Eskimos under a blanket…live."

"Well this Eskimo's gonna die." Eva stuck out her chin defiantly, and Jordan knew that was the end of it.

---

Jordan woke up shivering. '_What's going on? I thought we had a heater!_'

Then he opened his eyes and realized what was wrong.

The heater was broken.

---

Okay, tell me what you think! I have the second chapter right here, but I'm not updating until I get at least three reviews. Amen!

-V. D. of O.

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	2. Chapter 2

Kyrra: Wanna procrastinate?

Spaz: Sure! … In a minute…

**CLUTRBNIISPCTOSRATLM**

That's weird… I have Microsoft Word for Macs but the page divider thing- **CLUTRBNIISPCTOSRATLM**- didn't come up as a misspelling…weird…

**CLUTRBNIISPCTOSRATLM**

The heater was broken. The. Heater. Was. Broken. Theheaterwasbroken!

'_And that was prolly the only time it ever worked too…_

_What about Molly! She'll freeze to death!_' Jordan realized it was only a matter of time before both of them froze. He ran as fast as he could to the storage area and got the biggest coat he could find. The he ran back and checked on Molly.

(A/N- It says Molly instead of Eva because it's in Jordan's POV)

She looked okay at first glance, but if he looked close enough, he could see her lips were blue and she was shivering worse than a weak person holding a chainsaw. (I just came up with that) '_She's gonna kill me for this_' Jordan thought.

He picked Molly up and gingerly carried her over to his cot. '_How am I gonna do this? _' Then Jordan remembered his training days at the military. If the conditions were freezing, you had to keep the circulation in your limbs to keep yourself alive. '_Well, that was the army, and there's _no _way that I'm going to…um…whatever._'

Then Jordan thought of the whatchamacallit's that were supposed to help keep you warm with a less…embarrassing method. They looked like a large coat and snowpants, except that they heated themselves like an electric blanket. Luckily, he brought some with him, just for the occasion. Always be prepared. Ha, ha.

He clumsily wrapped the smallest pair (which, of course, was too big for her) around Molly. Then, he put on his coat (regular, not a whatchamacallit), and tried to wake her up.

"Molly. Molly, wake up. The heater's broken."

"Huh, what?" she said sleepily. "If the heater's broken, why'm I so…warm…" She yawned.

"Hold on." Jordan put Molly on his lap. "…"

Molly yawned again. "Did you know that yawning's contagious? They proved it a while ago."

"Well then, stop! I don't wanna catch it!" they both chuckled at Jordan's joke.

"I still don't get why I'm warm, though, if the heater's broken…" Molly sighed contentedly, snuggling in.

"We don't need that old thing anymore."

"Why not?"

Jordan smiled fondly down at Molly. "I've got my own little heater, right here."

**CLUTRBNIISPCTOSRALTM**

V. D. of O.: Cute, wasn't it?

Kyrra: Well, I have to agree on that.

-Spaz enters, V. D. of O. leaves-

Spaz: Wahhh! I just saw "The Will to Win"! -sniffle-

Kyrra: So what?

Spaz: Hey that was mean! -sniffle-

Kyrra: You're lucky, I mean, Changelings like me living in isolation-technically, anyways-don't even get to watch TV! -annoyedly- Now could you _please _explain why you are CRYING! Wimp!

Spaz: Well-sniffle- I think that-sniffle-Jordan-sniffle-should've-sniffle-been-more-sniffle- of a-sniffle-help-sniffle-. I mean-sniffle-Eva-sniffle-really-sniffle-needed-sniffle-lots of-sniffle-care-sniffle-and-sniffle-support-sniffle-. -sobs-

Kyrra: Get over it, you over sensitive bag of fluff! -picks up Spaz- Pillow fight!

Spaz: Hey! I'm not a pillow!

Kyrra: That's right-you are an oversensitive bag of fluff! -picks up phone- Hey, Random Person, wanna have a pillow fight?

RP: Sure-but there's only one pillow.

Spaz: Hey, a Random Person's not supposed to be in this!

Kyrra: Shut up, Spaz. _to RP _: You have that pillow. Mine's over here. -picks up Spaz- See?

Spaz: Shut up you two! I'm not a pillow FOR CRYING OUT FREAKING LOUD!

Kyrra-to RP-: Which arm?

RP: your choice.

Kyrra: -picks up Spaz's right arm-

RP: -picks up Spaz's left arm-

Kyrra and RP: -drags Spaz out-

Spaz: -in background- Don't forget to R&R!

-V. D. of O. enters again-

Did u figure out what the page divider **CLUTRBNIISPCTOSRALTM** stands for? It's right here.

**C**ode

**L**yoko

**U**sed

**T**o

**R**ock

**B**ut

**N**ow

**I**t's

**I**n

**S**econd

**P**lace

**C**ompared

**T**o

**O**ban

**S**tar

**R**acers,

**A**t

**L**east

**T**o

**M**e

See? **CLUTRBNIISPCTOSRALTM**. Bye!

-Virtual Dragon of Oban


End file.
